I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
