You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Your penis caused this!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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