i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Found your dick twin last night
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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