brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
