You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
