Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
