so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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