I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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