I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
