I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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