dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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