Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
