how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
