I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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