did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
