Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
