took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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