Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
