dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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