when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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