I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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