You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
