party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
