I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
