Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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