the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
