It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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