my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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