i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
