dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
