You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
