i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
