I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
