I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
