I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
