Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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