He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you still have your period?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Randomize
