Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
