Just fell off a train. Bad.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
