I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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