return my video game
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
