It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
