yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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