he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
