Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
