I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
