If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
