garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
