Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
