Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
