my vag is so smooth its legendary
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
