I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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