I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
