dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
