shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
