i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Never underestimate the power of titties
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize