I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
