its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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