I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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