just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My vagina is officially offended.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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